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And she did…

June 21, 2010

Go and read the comment from “Take Five” (my about-to-be-divorced friend’s clever alias) to see what she looks for in a squeeze. It’s comment number fourteen on the last post. And leave her a response if you like. You’ll just have to take my word for how excellent she is in person–I kind of want to sweat all over her and carry her underpants around w/ me, now, too.

Occurs to me, too, that the list of things that DOESN’T bug you is as crucial to keep in mind as the list of essentials. What we learn, as we go along! It’s astonishing.

(thank you, Juli Ryan, for supplying the link: here it is. I am now so curious about other peoples’ five, or eight, or two, must haves and must not haves. I’m timid to list my own–actually, I’m kind of afraid even to THINK about my own, but I want to read yours. Maybe they’ll embolden me.)

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Ms V. permalink
    June 21, 2010 1:28 pm

    link please?

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 21, 2010 4:58 pm

      Oh god I’m so uncouth, I have no idea how to link to a comment. I’ll do my best to figure it out later tonight when I have time. I apologize…it’s comment # 14 on the previous post.

  2. June 21, 2010 6:35 pm

    Here’s the link:

    Oh, man. I want that too. Now I really feel like I have been settling for far too long. (sigh)

  3. June 21, 2010 10:57 pm

    It’s so funny that you’ve broached this subject now. Earlier this month an acquaintance of mine shared with me that when she divorced many years ago, as a working mom with two sons, she made a list of everything, and I mean everything, she wanted and did not want in her next spouse. Her list was extensive. She said she’d already been through marriage and divorce and didn’t want to marry again unless she found someone who fit her description. And she did find that person. They’ve been happily married ten years. It’s one of those stories that I would not have believed if I hadn’t heard it firsthand.

  4. Rachel permalink
    June 23, 2010 8:01 am

    I made some lists during the end-times of my marriage. Mostly about what I felt was missing in my ex-husband, but they also serve as good markers for what I look for. My current partner hits every single one of them (and all the ones listed by other commenters here too!) **happy dance**.
    – someone who is interested in what I do in my day
    – wants to tell me about his day
    – neutral/likes my parents (not put them down)
    – likes doing family things (eg zoo, playground)
    – importance on family unit – not just lip service
    – think about how own actions affect family (ie role model desired behaviours)
    – learn/read about diet/discipline and other parenting issues
    – listen to suggestions/comments in an open way (don’t get defensive or take them personally)

    Another list has these additions:
    – no sulking
    – ask for clarification instead of thinking the worst
    – no smoking or drinking
    – no excessive tv watching
    – care about environment/living sustainably
    – work together as a team to parent

    So I guess that gives a window into my crappy marriage…

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