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June 6, 2011

It has been nearly two weeks since I ate anything that wasn’t the texture of mucus. I like tapioca pudding as much as the next girl, and I used to smuggle boxes of Cream of Wheat overseas when I lived in Europe.  I’ve truly always liked bland, throat-friendly shit, even back when my tonsils weren’t just carved out of my skull. But I have had it, my friends, and to torment myself I have been reading food blogs for twelve straight days.

There are some really good ones out there, but my current favorite–written, as it happens, by a guy I knew in high school–ranks among my top ten internet discoveries of all time.  I am in awe.  Read the David Mamet parody (under “best of”–it’s called The Spanish Recipe) and tell me it’s not brilliant.  I read all kinds of weird blogs–from the crazy zero-waste lady to the wack-job homesteader freaks–and never have I been so enthralled by someone’s website, nor so impressed–the writing is spectacular, the photos are ace, the food is–well, it’s on a different level than any quiche I’ve ever baked, let me tell you. Here, see for yourself.

Tomorrow I am determined to catch up, to turn in an article, to update both websites, to do all manner of things I’ve neglected in my druggy, hungry stupor.  Yesterday I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel normal again; today I nearly did. Once I get the painkiller monkey off my back I’m sure I’ll be much more productive. (You would not believe the hoops one has to jump through in order to procure the drugs my ENT prescribed.  They’re narcotics, after all, thus in some Kafkaesque class of their own.  If you’re fresh out of surgery and in enough pain to need them, you really shouldn’t be driving–but you must, because any drug classed as a narcotic requires you to present yourself at the doctor, pick up the prescription, drive to the pharmacy, and wait, moaning and writhing, while they take their sweet time filling it.  Refills require more of the same, except that now, after days of opiates, you’re presumably in no condition to operate a motor vehicle. (Nor to wait, twitching and scratching your track marks, while the pharmacist announces they’re fresh out of oxycodone at this particular store–do you mind driving somewhere else?)

Once I actually had the medicine in my hot little hands,  I was shocked to find that they’d given me about a gallon of a) codeine cough syrup and b) the deliciously devastating cherry-red Roxicet.  Each.  “Have a nice day!” the pharmacist chirped.  “Watch out–that bag’s really heavy!” Oh, I’ll have a nice day.  Provided I make it home without driving straight into a tree, that is.)

I jest, a bit.  Actually the drugs, while they work very well (you can actually feel the pain lift off, like magic, when the stuff hits) make me queasy and depressed.  Having your tonsils out ruins everything.

17 Comments leave one →
  1. June 7, 2011 7:44 am

    Oh, I sympathise. I do sympathise. (Particularly as I ran out of my Good Drugs on Saturday, and am stoically making do with Lesser Drugs, because I know very well that no GP is going to believe I’m still in enough pain to warrant the good stuff by now.) Any kind of misery sited close to the brain (throat, ear, head) seems to debilitate quicker than anything else.

    Still. All the many years to come of happy pain-free throat! And that is a remarkably tasty-looking blog. I have an urge to go out and buy all new bowls to make my mediocre food look wonderful.

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 7, 2011 8:02 am

      He MAKES the bowls. No lie.

      If you didn’t live in a foreign country, I’d share my drugs with you, gladly. We could tipple them out of sherry glasses.

  2. June 7, 2011 8:35 am

    When I’m at work I watch a lot of competitive cooking shows. (Lately I’ve been watching ‘Chopped’ which is like a whole Top Chef season condensed into single episodes.) I like food blogs too, but I’m not all that sure why sometimes, since I seldom get to try any of those foods or techniques myself. Maybe when my kids are older and eat more than six things….

    You’ve got me wondering if I should look into getting my son’s tonsils out. We canceled the surgery scheduled back in March because it didn’t seem necessary, but maybe it would be easier on him now than later? I’m really torn on this one. If his big tonsils turn out to never be a problem then it’s okay, but if problems develop later I’d feel bad about not getting out of the way early. Hm.

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 7, 2011 8:40 am

      I dunno. Easier on kids, but he (and you) will still suffer. I think it was much easier on my mother that I had them out now, if you catch my drift.

  3. SarahB permalink
    June 7, 2011 10:27 am

    A food blog recommendation: Orangette. Lovely, lovely stuff.

    Better: Get her book, A Homemade Life. Buy yourself the real thing not the Kindle version because, after reading it straight through and weeping onto it at least a little, you’ll then start cooking from it and make a mess of it. Mine is beat up and beloved.

    And the Ed Fretwell soup might be a good first step back towards more solid food. Not to mention the chocolate cake recipe.

    Thanks again for your book list recommendation, btw. After finishing the Ginger Tree, I took your list to the library this weekend and have started from the top.

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 7, 2011 1:18 pm

      Oh! I’m so glad, did you like the Ginger Tree? Keep me posted on the others, too. And now I’m off in search of your recommendation.

      • June 11, 2011 9:44 am

        yes yes yes on orangette–at least three of my weekly go-to recipes came from her, and my copy of the book is similarly beat up. also, the chapters about her father’s illness are some of the most beautiful writing anywhere: memoir, cookbook, whatever.

  4. PinkieBling permalink
    June 7, 2011 11:32 am

    Hahaha, the torture of food blogs when one cannot eat! I actually I found cooking shows oddly soothing when I was training and on a pretty strict “meal plan” – we shall not say diet!

  5. June 7, 2011 12:24 pm

    No, still? Poor you. Blimey.

    It’ll all be worth it, it will. Years and years stretch before you, full of vigour and chewy comestibles.

    So don’t get arrested for DWI, eh?

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 7, 2011 1:20 pm

      Actually, I had kind friends ferry me to and fro, or score/procure w/out me. But I did have to wait and wait, and go to multiple drugstores more than once (as did consoling-windows friend). They should just legalize this shit already, dammit.

      And I am about to go eat a burrito, or die trying….

  6. Celeste permalink
    June 7, 2011 11:17 pm

    I adore cooking blogs, among others. Last summer I tested recipes for Homesick Texan; she got a book deal. Lots of yummy stuff for sure.

    Do you read Tea and Cookies? Today’s post really intrigued me. It was about having a cookbook party–all of the guests cook something from the same cookbook and bring it to a potluck. Then you can see if you would want the book. I so want to do this, at least partly because seeing pretzel salad at potlucks makes me squirm.

  7. June 7, 2011 11:31 pm

    ouch, sounds really painful. i hope you were able to enjoy at least part of your burrito. i read a couple of food blogs and have tried out several recipes to good reviews. love the looks of the one you posted about. will check it out. thank you!

  8. June 8, 2011 2:21 pm

    I, too, love Orangette and, inspired by her, made this recently:
    Though probably too much to swallow, literally, for you right now.
    However, the first recipe on her page at the moment is a rice dish, and though it might be spicy, could work for you at the moment:

    On another note, I have continued to fall in love with Laurie Colwin and just finished GOODBYE WITHOUT LEAVING. Oh my, lovely her writing. Thank you so much for letting me know of her magic. Also just finished OLIVE KITTERIDGE, which – if you haven’t read it – you must. It is a gem. Just starting THE HELP and I am already digging it…

  9. June 13, 2011 1:49 pm

    Checking in on you – need an update. Hope you are mending…

    • Susan permalink
      June 13, 2011 9:33 pm

      Agreed! How are you doing?

  10. Emily permalink
    June 16, 2011 8:13 pm

    I had my tonsils out at 29. It was just about the worst experience of my life. Post OP bleeding WEEKS after the procedure. barfing up blood and scab, codeine syrup spouting out my nose. I had my bleeding throat cauterized 3 times in the ER. I thought I could start nursing school a week after surgery. Ha,, I was still laid up a month later. I hope your recovery time is much swifter and normal. the only good part, I lost 20 lbs.

    • irretrievablybroken permalink*
      June 18, 2011 11:53 am

      Oh my god that sounds horrible. I have had nothing that bad (though I am relieved to hear that someone else survived codeine out the nose. What the fuck is up with THAT?)

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