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AWOL

April 2, 2013

I’m so sorry. I have not been eaten by spiders or what have you. I did, in fact, have a wonderful time in Ecuador, and I have been meaning to write here ever since I got back. Then I left town suddenly for South Carolina to see my grandmother, whose health has been very poor, and then I came back, and I have been flailing about feeling sad (about her impending death) and lonely (having spent an unprecedented amount of time with my boyfriend in March, which makes going back to my regular life jarring and difficult). I worry, too, that this website may have reached its logical endpoint. (Not before I report on Ecuador, but soon.) My life these days is much calmer than when I started writing here, and though the divorce is still with me (obviously) I worry I’m just retreading the same ground, getting pissed off at my ex-husband, then marveling at how much progress we’ve made, and so on and so forth, over and over, again and again.

Life is like that, of course. One minute you feel grand and the next you’re harassed by familiar demons. But it doesn’t make for a compelling storyline.

Bear with me, if you will, while I get my bearings and conjure up the next post. I honestly don’t know when that will be, but I’m still around. I am loath to post unless I feel I have something to say and the time and energy to say it properly.

In the meantime, here’s a blurry photograph of a Paradise Tanager–we saw several, and several at once–taken from above the jungle canopy. The picture doesn’t do him justice at all.

paradise tanager

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. April 2, 2013 4:13 pm

    You are killing me with the “endpoint” talk.

  2. April 2, 2013 4:35 pm

    Aw, he’s beautiful even if a bit blurred!
    I dunno, you may just want to hang onto your blog – stuff keeps coming up to where I’m loathe to delete mine (even if as you say, it seems to be the Same Old Shit over & over & OVER again)… Had to take ex back to court to rectify child support; took blog private for a few mos but now am trying new tricks: changed its address!
    (of course if ex finds it again I’ll give up & delete it)

  3. April 2, 2013 4:35 pm

    oh! Please don’t go.

  4. Christa. permalink
    April 2, 2013 8:04 pm

    I’m with K and her comment. Don’t go!

  5. April 2, 2013 8:51 pm

    Actually, it does make a compelling storyline. That’s why I’m here. I’m pretty sure others are, too. Not just what happens, but your (ever-so-gradually changing) take on it, your wit and writing acumen.

    Stay with it, or move to a different venue if you like, but if you do, I’m coming too.

  6. irretrievablybroken permalink*
    April 2, 2013 9:24 pm

    Oh jeeze, now I’ve become every single blogging cliché, I swear I did not do this to draw comments begging me to keep writing. I will, just not right now, I’m brain dead and a little bit undone. I trust you will all warn me when I start to bore the shit out of you. You will, right?

  7. April 2, 2013 10:57 pm

    I think you are simply ready for some reinvention. “Irretrievably Broken” no long fits you. Find something that does, archive the old, and we will happily follow the new! I’m picturing a cool new header with an owl….

    • April 6, 2013 2:03 pm

      what she said. 🙂

    • mellie permalink
      April 11, 2013 4:12 pm

      Actually, as I was pulling your blog up for a check-in I was thinking–the name of this blog doesn’t really fit anymore…..But I still enjoy reading it very much!

  8. April 3, 2013 3:02 pm

    I think Korinthia is right. You have most certainly changed since you started this blog; let the blog change, too. I’d be willing to bet that many of us who came for the divorce insight have stayed long past needing it, just because we enjoy your wit and your take on life as you know it. Let this go, if you need to. Begin again. I, for one, would love to see where it takes you.

  9. April 3, 2013 10:38 pm

    Please do not just fade away into nothingness. There is life and joy and renewal as a single parent with a boyfriend who is not always nearby, and a job, and children and … because you are articulate you are strength to the rest of us who have been there and moved forward. Please keep writing.

  10. Penny permalink
    April 4, 2013 1:03 pm

    Please don’t go.

  11. April 6, 2013 10:48 am

    I’m with Korinthia. And, you are fabulous!

  12. April 8, 2013 3:25 pm

    Yes on Korinthia’s suggestion!

  13. April 17, 2013 4:15 pm

    I think I just ovulated!

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